Meet Joe R. - a 35-year-old resident of Kenilworth, New Jersey, who has smoked for more than 20 years. Share in Joe’s six-week journey with the Institute for Prevention’s Tobacco Dependence Treatment program through a candid weekly diary entry posted each week through Tuesday, July 19.
If you are a smoker, or know someone who is, “Diary of a Quitter” will provide heartfelt insight into the hurdles involved in breaking an addiction to nicotine and offer motivation and hope to all those who are considering seeking treatment.
The First Step- June 7, 2011
Today I met with Dennis Lee, a Tobacco Treatment Specialist with the Institute’s Tobacco Quit Program – this is the first step of a six-week program that is supposed to help me quit smoking for good. To be honest – I am skeptical. I have “quit” twice before. Most recently, about a year ago when I didn’t smoke for more than a year thanks to the help of Chantix. But, something always draws me back to this terrible addiction.
I am hoping this time will be different, mostly because I have a different motivation. I am 35-years-old and was just diagnosed with bladder cancer. In fact, I got the news on my 35th birthday! The tumor was removed and I am now cancer free, but the doctor told me he is certain that the cause was my 20-year smoking habit.
When we left Barnabas Health Medical Center the day the tumor was removed, I made a mental promise to myself that I was NEVER going to smoke again. That same night, with a catheter bag strapped to my leg, still drowsy from the anesthesia, I stood in my backyard and smoked. That’s when I realized, I wasn’t going to be able to do this alone.
I found out about the Tobacco Program through my wife and made an appointment to meet with Dennis. We spoke for about an hour today and he suggested I talk to my doctor about trying the Nicotrol nicotine inhaler. I’m feeling a bit more optimistic. Wish me luck!
Week 1- June 14, 2011
It has been a rough week, but I count it as a victory because I haven’t smoked in seven days! The Nicotrol inhaler does help, but I still feel the urge to light up a cigarette pretty often. The worst times for me are first thing in the morning, after meals and in the car, so this when the inhaler gets its most use.
I attended the first of the six group meetings today at the Ambulatory Care Center. It was very helpful and reassuring to talk to people who are in the same boat. I have a great support system at home, but to be able to connect with people who are experiencing the same feelings, at the same time, is a big help.
Tonight we talked a lot about coping with the situations which trigger us to smoke. As I said, the morning, meals and driving are huge triggers for me. We’re supposed to change the times when we do certain activities that we would normally associate with smoking, try to avoid situations where we would usually smoke and plan ahead to make sure we have access to the NRT (Nicotine Replacement Therapy – I learned that acronym tonight!) that we are using.
This weekend I have to attend an engagement party and a Communion celebration – classic times when I would have joined the crowd of “outsiders” on the sidewalk who were smoking between dinner courses or before dessert. It will be weird not being one of those people, but, in a way, I am looking forward to it – especially to not hearing my wife tell me I stink when I get back to the table.
Week 2 – June 21, 2011
Fourteen days and counting without a cigarette – wow! I can’t say I don’t miss it, because I do, but it is getting just a bit easier each day and the weekly classes with the Institute are helping me understand and manage the cravings. I’ve also noticed that I am coughing a little less intensely in the morning – certainly a sign that my lungs are appreciating the much healthier air I am feeding them. And, the Nicotrol inhaler is my new best friend. It’s like a MasterCard – I don’t leave home without it.
Last week I mentioned anticipating attending two family events. I was worried that I would be tempted to join in the pilgrimage to the sidewalk with the other smokers, but I noticed something shocking – not many people were smoking! What I imagined to be hoards of people enjoying cigarettes was, in reality, just two people at the Communion we attended. There was not one smoker at the engagement party. Not one. That’s when I realized that, as a smoker, I am the exception. I have to be honest and say that I was actually disappointed. As unbelievable as this may sound, I was hoping to get caught in a cross breeze of second-hand smoke.
As I spoke to family and friends at the parties, many asked if I was still smoking – especially after hearing the news about my bladder cancer diagnosis. I was proud to say that I was a quitter!
Week 3 – June 28, 2011
Two days smoke free. Yes, you read it right. Two days. I had a cigarette on Sunday.
What happened? I was fishing at a local pond. It’s not far from my house, so I like to go a couple of times of week when the weather is nice. Since I quit, I have been struggling with the time I spend there – it was one of the places where I smoked the most. But, I’ve been able to manage it by chewing gum, bringing snacks and using the Nicotrol inhaler. I also learned from Dennis that changing routines is important, so I have even switched the side of the pond where I fish. Over the years, I’ve made friends with the other local “fishermen,” one of whom is a smoker. He offered me a cigarette on Sunday, I said “thanks” and before I knew it, I was again a smoker.
After I finished the cigarette I felt sad, embarrassed and disappointed. I knew it was a mistake, but it was like my body was overtaken by some outside force and I couldn’t say “no!” I planned to tell my wife when I got home, but I didn’t even have a chance to because as soon as I walked in the door she said, “I smell a cigarette.” I felt ashamed to tell her and was dreading sharing it at the weekly meeting with Dennis, but I’m glad I did.
We actually stayed late at tonight’s meeting, just talking about strategies and sharing stories. I left feeling refreshed and ready for a successful week.
Week 4 – July 5, 2011
I had another cigarette this week and felt all the same emotions as I did during last week’s “slip.” Then, the day after I had the cigarette, I found out that a friend of the family, who also had bladder cancer, had a relapse. When I was diagnosed the doctor told me it was a commonly recurring cancer, but quitting smoking would help tremendously since that is one of the primary contributing factors to its development.
I knew our friend had quit immediately when he was diagnosed – yet he still was experiencing a reoccurrence. I began to think of the two cigarettes I had since I began this journey four weeks ago, and how serious the implications of not following through on quitting will be.
This is one of the biggest challenges I have ever faced, but I have no choice but to be successful – as scary as it is to admit, it can truly be a matter of life or death.
Week 5 – July 12, 2011
It was a very good week. I haven’t smoked since early last week. I am starting to get better at recognizing and managing the situations that result in cravings before they actually occur. This has allowed me to avoid the circumstances (when possible) or be better prepared to manage them if they are unavoidable.
One thing I am learning is that there is no way I can do this alone. The support I have received from Dennis has been so valuable. Just knowing that this process is difficult enough to warrant an entire program dedicated to helping people overcome nicotine addiction has had an enormous impact on me. It actually validates the struggle.
Wish me luck as I embark on another week!
Are you ready to quit? Click here for more information.
Date: July 12, 2011
Contact – Public Relations
ltortorello@barnabashealth.org
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